Death of Pet
Telling children about the death of a pet.
The death of a pet is a very sensitive subject. Everyone will handle it differently. This should be an open discussion with the whole family. It’s easier to heal and accept the death of your best friend when you talk about it, especially with children. Most children don’t understand what death is. This may be their first experience and they will have many questions and they may be scared of their own mortality. Whether the pet was a mouse, a fish or a dog, death is a difficult time for children.
You will need to explain to younger children that death is a part of life that this is a natural process. Explain to them that every living thing has a cycle of life. Your children may be scared that they too will die soon or that you as their parent will. Reassure your children that they will not die soon that they are just fine. Reassure them that you are just fine and there is nothing wrong and you will not die soon either. They may cry, have nightmares or start to ‘lash out’. This is their own way of grieving. Hug them and reassure them that they are just fine. Talk to your children in short time periods instead of one long discussion. Be there for them and give them lots of hugs and love. They will have many questions and you are the one that needs to answer them.
Your child may want to have a funeral. This is a wonderful idea as this helps in the grieving process. When I was a child, we used to have funerals for our fish, turtles and rabbits, etc. We’d dress up in our Sunday best, Mom would read from the bible, and we would all put a handful of dirt on the ‘casket’. Dad would make a little wooden cross with our pet’s name on it. That way, when we were sad we could sit next to the grave and talk with our pet. This is a great way to teach your children about life.
Talk to your children about the fun things you did with your pet, the picnics and the funny way your dog looked when his face was full of mud. How he made them laugh at the funny things he did. How he was always there for them. Explain to your children that your pet is still with them. As long as they hold the memories in their heart and mind, their beloved pet will always be with them.
Make up a story, especially for younger children. Tell them that your dog is in doggie heaven, chasing squirrels, playing with other dogs and can have all the biscuits he can. Tell them the clouds are a nice fluffy bed for him to sleep on when he gets tired. That your pet and best friend feels no pain and someday they will be together again.
The grieving process will take time. Be understanding with your children and answer every question they have. This will also help you in the grieving process as well.
It’s best to not run right out and get another pet. You and your children need time to grieve and heal from the loss. Your new pet will not be a replacement for the one that passed. He will be your new best friend. You will know the time when to get a new friend. Make sure you take the children with you and the entire family can pick out the new family member. Our pets are our best friends.